


The Consequences of Fighting

by snowstormdaydreams



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Avengers Family, Bucky Barnes & Peter Parker Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Peter Parker, Not Canon Compliant, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sad Peter Parker, Some Steve Bashing, Steve Rogers Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Worried Steve Rogers, Worried Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:55:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25639141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowstormdaydreams/pseuds/snowstormdaydreams
Summary: Soon after being freed from the ice, Steve met and adopted Peter Parker.  When Steve runs off, it is Peter who pays a steep price.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Comments: 12
Kudos: 197





	1. Chapter 1

Tony felt sick to his stomach. The choice he had to make in the next few minutes was an impossible one. He had to ask Peter… Steve’s _child_ , who he had just found out was a vigilante, to go fight in a battle against his father. He needed Peter if he had any hope of bringing Steve and his group in, and if he was unsuccessful in rounding them up, the government would not be so kind. He didn’t want to do this, and honestly, he considered just going without asking for Peter’s help, but he knew that wouldn’t work out. 

Steve had adopted Peter nearly three years before Tony had ever met him, and ever since Steve had run off several weeks earlier, Peter had been positively devastated. He kept returning to the small apartment Steve kept in Brooklyn as if he had run there instead of halfway around the world. They had lived there before Steve had introduced Peter to Tony and raising him had started to become a joint effort. Even after they’d moved into the tower, Steve had kept the apartment as an art studio and he and Peter still spent a lot of time there together.

He found him there, sitting in the room with the large windows, staring at something on Steve’s easel. When Tony looked, his heart sank when he saw the sketch of Peter’s smiling face. “What are you doing here?”

Hearing Peter’s voice so flat made Tony’s stomach sink and he thought about making an excuse, but he couldn’t. “I’m leaving for Germany in the morning… and I need your help with something.”

“Yeah, I can look after myself and stay out of trouble,” he didn’t look away from the sketch.

Tony walked so he was in Peter’s line of sight. “I know you’re Spiderman…” He held his hand up when Peter immediately started stumbling over his words in his haste to make excuses. “I’m not… happy about it, obviously. And we’ll have a long talk about this, but for right now, I need to ask for your help with something. Something I hate to have to ask you to do.”

“Something to do with Steve,” he met Tony’s eyes.

Tony took a deep breath hearing him refer to his father by his first name. “The government is giving me a very short amount of time to bring him into custody. If I can’t, they’ll send someone else. He doesn’t know you’re Spiderman, I don’t think he even knows about Spiderman. You’re my only hope.”

“How do I know you’re right? How do I know you’re doing the right thing and he’s not? You’re asking me to pick sides!”

He took a moment to be proud of the kid for being smart enough to question him and angry with himself for putting Peter in that position. “Honestly? You don’t. I’ll show you the documents so you can read them. But even if I’m wrong, and he’s right, if I don’t bring him in peacefully, they’re going to bring him in their way. I want to keep him safe.”

Peter stared at the canvas looking so vulnerable. “I just… I don’t understand why he left me,” he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

Tony walked around and wrapped his arms around him, combing his fingers through Peter’s hair. “Shh, it’s ok, we’re going to figure this out.”

“I’ll come with you. I want to save him…” Peter’s voice was muffled in Tony’s shoulder.

“First let’s get you a better suit.”

“You got heart, kid, where you from?”

Peter could barely recognize this version of Steve, who had just dropped the jet bridge he was now holding up so it didn’t crush him. “Queens,” the voice modulator Tony put in the suit had made it so Steve couldn’t recognize his voice, but he wished he did.

He flashed a grin. “Brooklyn.”

Peter was so done in that moment, he wanted to cry as Steve turned away and his muscles started to burn. He wanted to scream that this is not how things should work, because after he had lost everyone else, Steve took him in and promised to never leave him, and now he was walking away while Peter was holding up what felt like a million pounds.

Instead he turned off the voice modulator before his dad could get too far away. “Hey, Captain America?” He saw him freeze. “Fuck you.” He dropped the bridge on the ground and felt it shake with the weight of it as his father slowly turned towards him.

He stared for several long moments before he spoke. “Peter? Is that you? Tony brought you here?” 

He had the nerve to sound angry, and Peter wanted to punch him, taking off his mask because he wanted his father to see how upset he was. “No, you did. We just wanted to bring you in alive. We wanted to bring everyone in alive… I read the papers. I saw the reports. We could have argued them to the UN, we could have gotten them to change their minds. But now…” Peter waved his arms out over the airport where everyone was still fighting. “We are everything those papers say we are. How did you know I could catch that?” His eyes bore into his father’s.

Steve brought his finger up to his ear and it felt like time froze. “Everyone stop. Tell Tony I want to negotiate.”

People filtered over to them slowly. Clint was about to lay into Steve when he saw Peter and his face fell all at once and he looked sick. “Oh god,” he stared just about as hard as Steve, handing Peter a cloth for the cut on his face, walking over slowly and reaching his arm all the way out so he didn’t get too close.

Sam had a similar reaction, but he actually did get sick in the grass behind them. Natasha and Rhodey rushed to hug Peter while Bucky and Scott were confused about what was happening, but they stood beside Steve in case something went wrong. Sam and Clint wanted to hug their nephew, but they didn’t, and the others remained on the fringe. 

Tony was the last to join them, and he immediately went to Peter’s side, pulling him into a tight hug that made Steve wince because he wished he could hug his son. He could hear Tony muttering apologies and Peter brushing them off, and some other muffled conversation, and then they turned back to them. Tony was tensed, but he didn’t cross his arms, holding hands with Peter, and Steve recognized the gesture. When he had first adopted Peter, before Tony had met him, Peter had always wanted a point of contact when he was scared, and though he had mostly outgrown it, it was still something he needed in times of great stress.

“So you want to negotiate,” Tony’s voice was deceptively friendly. “I apparently have been demoted to assistant. Peter is leading these negotiations.” . 

Bucky who had already deduced that Peter was the fucking child who had caught his punch earlier immediately began to protest. “C’mon, Steve, are we really going to negotiate? We don’t have much time… and _that_ , is a kid.”

“Yes, well, he’s my kid, and he’s a genius. And like you said, we don’t have much time, so let’s get going ok?”

“So what do you want?” Peter’s voice was deceptively steady.

“Bucky was framed, and we know who was actually behind the bombing.”

Peter to his credit didn’t scoff or roll his eyes like everyone else around him. “Ok, the thing is though, even if he didn’t bomb the embassy, everything that’s been done since then has been in bad faith. You broke out of prison, you gathered a team to go after someone without authorization, you _left_ me...” Peter’s voice cracked, and everyone was silent for several moments.

“Is this part of the negotiation?” Scott interjected awkwardly and winced when Clint knocked him upside the head. 

Since Steve apparently wasn’t answering, Peter wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and took a deep breath. “If everyone here agrees that you all immediately surrendered to us so we could go to apprehend the real criminal, and we can try to negotiate for house arrest for everyone and I think we can work on better terms.”

“So, everyone here has to agree that no battle took place? Peter, I could have killed you!”

Peter clenched his jaw, refusing to meet his father’s eye. “If a fight took place, you resisted our attempts to take you in. Go talk it over if you want,” his eyes were piercing when he finally looked at Steve.

“Peter, are you sure? They could…” Tony started protesting.

He shook his head. “If they try to leave, we’ll be back where we started, won’t we?”

Steve could see how shiny his son’s eyes were, and his chest ached. As they walked away, he wasn’t surprised that Bucky walked backwards to keep his eye on the other group. They stopped about fifty feet away and stood in a circle.

“So what does everyone think?”

“I think we should try to slip off to the plane. Your kid just gave us a huge head start, Wanda and Scott could subdue them and make it to the plane,” Bucky rocked up onto his toes.

Clint spoke before Steve could. “That’s my nephew man, no way. He is offering us help, offering to listen to what we want changed about the Accords. No, I’ll take house arrest for a few years after we catch this bastard.”

Sam nodded. “Me too. I almost… I could have,” he looked like he might be sick again, and Wanda put her hand on his arm.

“I think your son seems like he’s telling the truth. And they’re going to help us get the guy. If they screw us over after that, we can always escape prison, right?” Scott smiled.

Steve looked at the ground thoughtfully. “Peter doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean. If he is offering us this deal, he’s doing it because he genuinely thinks that’s what will happen. If things go screwy, it’s not going to be because of him. I want to take his deal.”

Wanda made a face. “I’m not happy about this. But if you think it’s the right thing…”

“Look, there is no guarantee that it will work out, but I know my son. He will do all he can… and I know to you and Scott and Bucky that may not mean much, but Peter…”

“Peter never gives up on people,” Clint’s voice was soft he glanced over his shoulder at his nephew. “Even assassins and grouchy old men and families who abandon him.”

“So, we’re joining Tony Stark’s team now?” Bucky was grumbling.

“No, Peter’s. So, we’re in agreement?” Everyone looked at each other and nodded. Steve breathed out a sigh of relief. “Ok, great. Now let’s get to Siberia and get this over with.”

Tony turned to Steve to ask him if he’d known, feeling the rage building in his chest, already knowing the answer. His brain was fuzzy around the edges, the images playing in his mind. One word, one word was all it took, and he snapped.

It all happened so fast, he couldn’t even process it. He had raised his arm, ready to shoot Steve. But it wasn’t Steve who cried out in pain. Time seemed to stand still as he recognized the voice, recognized the red and blue pattern lying on the ground. 

Bucky was moving before he was, and he watched the care in which he moved Peter onto his back. Steve took a moment to get to his feet, but as soon as he did, he was rushing to Peter’s side. “Oh no, oh God, Peter?” Steve got to his knees, checking for a pulse.

Tony finally forced his legs to move, dropping to his knees. “He needs medical attention, right now,” he could barely speak as he stared down at Peter, looking ghostly pale in the lighting.

Steve nodded frantically. “We need to get him to the quinjet. We… I…” His voice faltered.

Bucky seemed too impatient to wait for them to formulate a plan. “The rest of the team can apprehend Zemo and take the other Quinjet. Steve and someone can get him some help.”

Tony nodded. They could fight forever once Peter was safe, and he was sure they would. “Let’s hurry.”

He watched as Peter was lifted carefully, face scrunching as he was moved. Tony realized part way to the plane that there was no way he or Steve would be able to go back with Peter. He had promised to bring everyone in, and so he would have to honor that. Hearing a commotion as he got in touch with Natasha and Rhodey, he told them they needed to report to the quinjet immediately, mentioning Peter was injured, and how he would explain later. 

Once they had gotten on the jet, Steve turned to him, fidgeting slightly. “Are you ready?”

Tony sighed, as much as he hated Steve now, he didn’t want to have to tell him he couldn’t accompany his injured son. “Steve, we can’t go with him.”

“What? Why? Tony, you can arrest me afterward, I swear, but Peter…”

“Steve, I know. But I’m the one who has to bring in your whole team. I have to stay here, and so do you and Bucky, and everyone else. Natasha and Rhodey will have to go with him. We don’t have a choice.” He held up a hand when Steve started to protest. “Peter told you what would have to happen. I have to bring in the whole team, at once.”

Steve deflated, staring down at their son. “So this might be the last time I get to see him for a while?”

Tony forced a smile. “You know the kid, he’ll figure out some way to skirt the rules.”

“I…”

Before Steve could finish, both Natasha and Rhodey rushed on the jet. “We’re here. Zemo is in custody. Now get off so we can get Peter help,” Natasha’s voice was curt.

Steve brushed a hand over his son’s head and pressed a kiss to his forehead, whispering something no one else could hear before joining Bucky outside. Tony smoothed Peter’s hair back before looking at his friends. “Take care of him, ok?” 

“We will.” They smiled at him reassuringly, but it did nothing to ease the guilt that pressed on his chest as he walked off the jet.

On the other quinjet, everyone was waiting for them. Final sweeps had been done, and it was quiet as he walked on. They were only an hour into the ride when Steve approached him. He thought Steve was going to try to talk to him, and he didn’t know he would handle it, but he was surprised when he was handed a large stack of papers.

“It’s Peter’s. He made changes, and proposed sentencing. He wrote that he just needed you to check it over to present to the council. They’re going to put us on the raft until the council meets though.” 

When Tony didn’t answer, he just continued. “He recommended Bucky for rehabilitation and extensive therapy, and he gave me no time on the raft.”

Tony clenched his jaw but he just nodded. “I trust Peter.”

“Tony, I almost killed my son. _Our_ son,” Steve’s voice broke. “Recommend me for time on the raft! Give me a life sentence!”

He rolled his eyes. “So now you want to face consequences? Cause honestly, Peter seems to have been facing them long before you. You haven’t seen him the last few weeks. You didn’t see him go to the apartment, every fucking day like he was waiting for you to come back. Then he found out that Clint was gone, then Sam. I’m sure he was waiting for me to disappear too. Then Natasha, Rhodey, Bruce, Pepper. He woke up screaming every night, and you know that after those nightmares, he always wants you, and you can get him back to sleep. I found him on your floor, standing in the doorway of your room so many times in the middle of the night when I would go to check on him...”

He stared down at his hands clasped in front of him. “He asked me how he could know if I was right and you were wrong, and I told him there was really no way he could. And honestly, now that I think about it, there is no way either of us were right. We both almost killed him, and now because of me, he’s in desperate need of medical attention. There is nothing that could make that right.”

They sat across from each other in silence for hours until the alert that they were getting close to D.C. chimed, and Tony stood. “Brief your team. Everyone stays on the quinjet until I say so. No struggling, I’ll do my best to make sure they’re not too rough.”

Steve nodded because he knows it’s the best Tony can offer. “Can you tell Peter I’m sorry?”

Tony stopped for a second before he turned away. “I can try.”


	2. Chapter 2

Steve wasn’t sure how it happened. He’d been on the raft for several weeks, the days passing excruciatingly slowly with no word of how Peter was when he’s pulled from his cell one day and his hands and feet were cuffed. It was a shorter helicopter ride then he expected before he was being placed in an armored truck where the rest of the team were waiting with plenty of guards. They all exchanged looks but stayed quiet, unsure of what was going on.

The drive was several hours, and quiet except for the sounds outside that he could pick up. He knew the second they reached New York because the sounds were so familiar they soothed his frayed nerves. They stopped suddenly, and they were being unloaded quickly. He only had a moment to realize they were at the back door of Avengers Tower before being led to an elevator. 

They were brought up to one of the personal floors, and Steve saw Rhodey’s face as soon as the doors opened. The other man looked so tired, and he sighed when he saw all the cuffs. “You can take the cuffs off.”

The man in the suit who had been walking with them held the clipboard out. “You need to sign all these releases first.”

Rhodey nodded, scanning each one before signing. “Here you go. Now let them go.”

The guards seemed reluctant to do so, but they did when the suited man nodded for them to. “As you know they have ankle monitors that can’t be taken off. The U.N. is releasing them all into the custody of you and Mr. Stark so, if anything happens…”

Tony appeared then, waving his hand with Pepper walking beside him. “Yes, yes. “We’ll go to the raft too. We’ve had this discussion several times. We understand.”

“A representative will be by in a few days to see how things are going. We’ll expect reports every week. And the conditions of each plea agreement must be met, as you know.”

Steve watched as Tony smiled, eyes hidden behind his sunglasses. “Yes, sir. Thank you so much for your help. Let us walk you out,” he gestured for all the guards and the man to go before he and Pepper.

When the elevator had closed behind them, Steve turned to Rhodey. “You… you’ll get in trouble if any of us break the conditions of our agreements?” His voice was hoarse from not using it for so long.

“Planning on running, Rogers?” His lips quirked up just a bit before falling. “We’ll go over the exact terms of each agreement obviously.”

“We didn’t get a say in this?” Wanda sounded a little annoyed.

Clint rolled his eyes. “Would you rather go back to the raft?”

She snapped her mouth shut and folded her arms over her chest. Sam looked around nervously. “Where’s Peter?”

Steve felt panic spike when Rhodey averted his eyes, and heard the elevator approaching. The doors slid open and revealed Tony and Pepper who stepped out, as he pulled off his glasses. He had dark purple circles under his eyes and his smile looked forced as he approached. “Hey, everyone, long time no see! So, we have copies of the terms of plea agreements we worked out. Peter… Peter basically came up with each one. We negotiated as best we could. They also went for his whole, the Avengers need to be a team spiel, go figure,” the cheer in his voice was forced.

Rhodey handed them each a packet of papers as Tony continued. “Rhodey and I volunteered to be in charge of all of you, so basically, if you guys go rogue again, we’re screwed, you know? But hey, what does that matter?”

He watched as Rhodey went to Tony’s side and put a hand on his shoulder, as Pepper put a hand on his arm. Steve didn’t even bother to look at his packet. “Where’s Peter?”

The silence that followed was deafening as Tony just stared at him. “He’s in medbay,” his voice had none of the false bravado this time. “He hasn’t really woken up yet.”

Steve felt like he was going to be sick and forced himself to take in a deep breath. “Is… is he going to be ok?”

“Bruce isn’t sure. When I… when I hit him, his suit hadn’t been fully engaged. And then by the time Natasha got him back here, he had already started healing. He has super healing by the way, just like his dad,” he smiled weakly. “But it healed all wrong, and he died for a minute. Bruce saved him, and one of the doctors did emergency surgery, but he can’t really wake up, and he metabolizes drugs too fast to try to wake him up. They think maybe the shock was too much for Peter’s system.”

“Could I see him?”

“It might be good… We don’t know…”

Pepper’s voice was soft. “Hey, don’t talk like that.”

Tony’s laugh was humorless. “It’s been two weeks, Pep and it’s not looking good. I may not be a medical doctor, but I know that.” He turned to Sam and Clint. “You two should come down in a while. He would have wanted to see you too,” his voice was flat.

He turned on his heel and left the room with Steve following close behind. They made their way down to medbay in silence, and when Tony brought him to the room, he was shocked by how tiny his son looked in the bed. “Oh my god,” he went to the bedside immediately, hesitating before he reached out to smooth Peter’s hair back.

“We’ve had to try to keep up with his metabolism so he doesn’t lose too much weight. Bruce thinks it’s at least as fast as yours..”

“How did I not notice he was Spiderman?”

“I didn’t either. I only found out when I needed Spiderman to come after you. He definitely didn’t learn how to keep secrets from me though,” his voice was bitter.

Steve looked up from Peter’s face. “I never should have kept it a secret.”

“No, you shouldn’t. Considering we’re raising a kid together, you would have thought you would have told me, but I guess not. But it didn’t hurt me half as bad as it hurt Peter that you chose your friend. Yeah, we raise Peter together, but at the end of the day, we’re just friends, but you’re Peter’s father. I can’t imagine how he felt.” It was a low blow, but standing at Peter’s bedside while their son could not tell Steve how much he had been hurt, Tony felt he deserved it.

“I did not choose Bucky over him…”

Tony cut him off before he could finish. “Oh? So you didn’t run off and find him and leave Peter here desperately waiting for you to come back because you promised you would never leave him? I must have been mistaken,” he met Steve’s eyes head on.

“I left because… the Accords, were unfair. If we had signed…”

“We could have argued about the terms, we could have talked about it. If we weren’t both such assholes, we could have tried to compromise with the U.N. instead of fighting each other. But we didn’t. You left, I recruited him to make a decision he never should have had to make, and he took a blow I meant for you. We would have killed each other if he hadn’t been there. We might have at the airport if he hadn’t turned off the modulator. How must he have felt to see us care more about fighting each other then about what would happen to him?”

Steve stared down at Peter’s unmoving face. “We thought we were doing what was right, he understands that,” he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Tony or himself.

“Is that what you’ve been telling yourself since you left Cap? That it was ok to leave Peter because he would  _ understand _ you thought you were doing the right thing? How about recruiting his uncles, Peter was just going to  _ understand _ they were doing what was right too? Or what about if we fought until all of us killed each other, and nobody came back from Germany, and he was left alone, Peter would  _ understand _ that we were just standing up for what we believed in, right? Peter is fifteen, he lives in constant fear that he will be left alone, you know that better than anyone. He relies on you, because for a long time, you were the only person he had. So don’t ever fucking tell me, Peter  _ understands _ when you act as if he doesn’t matter.”

Steve looked up at Tony, to see his cold stare, arms crossed over his chest and tried to think of something to say, but he couldn’t. He opened his mouth to attempt some sort of response, when a tiny sound from the bed interrupted him. Looking down, he saw Peter stirring on the bed, and soon he was blinking his eyes open.

His eyes were hazy as he looked around, and they settled on Steve. “Dad?” His voice was hoarse.

Steve reached for his son, something like repulsion shooting through him when Peter flinched back. Looking around the room, Peter’s eyes settled on Tony and his face relaxed minutely, and Steve took a step back from the bed, stomach churning as his son spoke again. “I don’t want him in here,” the words were directed at Tony, soft but clear among the beeping of the machines around them.

Tony looked up at Steve before smoothing a hand over Peter’s head. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, he’s leaving right now,” his words were soothing, and he didn’t turn to look as the door whooshed closed. 

Bucky walked into the kitchen a few weeks later to find Steve at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him. He was still wearing his clothes from the day before, and it was the third night in a row he hadn’t slept. The day they’d arrived, Steve had returned from the medbay looking haunted, and Bucky had feared the worst, but he’d heard that Peter had actually woken up.

He’d overheard Steve talking to Tony on accident a few days after he’d moved onto the floor. Steve had wanted to speak to his son, but Tony had told him that Peter didn’t want to see him. It had devolved into an argument that had culminated in Tony just leaving. Since then, Steve had been even more quiet.

Bucky had no idea how to even approach the subject with his friend, so he headed to the gym to train, barely taking the time to say good morning. Usually this early, it was completely empty, so he was surprised to hear someone going at a punching bag as he approached. Opening the door, he was surprised when the figure turned to him, recognizing Peter right away.

The teen pulled his earbuds out of his ears, and Bucky wouldn’t have blamed the kid if he’d asked him to leave. He regarded him suspiciously for just a moment, before his lips turned up just a bit. “No one is usually here at this time.” 

“I can leave.”

Peter shook his head. “No, it’s not my gym. It’s for you to use too.”

Bucky noticed the two punching bags that had been flung across the room as he made his way to one of the other bags but didn’t comment on it. He focused on his own training until he heard another bag go flying. Turning to survey what had happened, he saw the kid just staring blankly ahead.

“Hey, kid, you good?”

He didn’t answer, so Bucky walked closer, slowly so he wouldn’t startle him. He was about ten feet away when Peter finally spoke. “Hey, can I ask you something?” He turned to face him.

Stopping abruptly, he took in way the kid had his jaw clenched, fists by his sides. Fairly certain this might turn into a fight any second, Bucky adjusted his stance as discreetly as possible. “What?”

“Did you know about me?”

He was confused. “Did I know what about you?”

“Like, did Steve tell you I existed? Did he tell you he had a son?”

Bucky wasn’t sure what answer might be worse. A world where Steve had told him about Peter but they had done everything they had done anyways, or the one where he hadn’t told Bucky anything about the fifteen year old waiting for him at home. Looking at Peter’s dark eyes, he decided the kid deserved the truth.

“I didn’t know. Steve never told me about… well, he never told me he had a kid.”

The sound of Peter pulling in a sharp breath was nearly as shocking as getting shot, and it hurt somewhere deep in his chest he’d only just recently remembered existed. He would have thought it was a fight he was ill equipped to be in if it were directed at him, but Peter was staring directly ahead again. 

“Well I guess… I guess I should be happy he loves someone, right?” The question was quiet and desperate and Bucky didn’t even care that Peter was saying that Steve loved him because right then all he wanted to do was punch his best friend in the face.

The kid shook his head as if shaking himself from a daze and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Want to spar?”

His gaze was hollow, and his eyes were red rimmed, but he stood a little straighter and forced a smile that looked more like a grimace. Bucky nodded, taking a breath to ease some of the anger that was building. “Sure, kid, but don’t think I’ll go easy on you.”

Peter’s smile didn’t look quite as forced the second time. “I don’t expect you to.”

It took several weeks for Bucky to fully process the enormity of his anger. He and Peter sparred in the training room nearly every morning, and worked out in the gym every other night, and ate dinner together once a week. Tony had tried to tell Peter not to hang around him, but for whatever reason, Peter seemed to actually like Bucky. And the more time he spent with Peter, the angrier he got with Steve.

He and Peter talked about Steve some, but not much, and he didn’t push. Peter still didn’t want to talk to his father, and after an extremely lengthy lecture and threat session from Tony, Bucky understood why. Tony had explained a lot of things, including that Peter had a horrible fear of being left alone. Which had made Steve leaving with no word a huge slap in the face.

He finally snapped during a sparring session with Steve late one Friday afternoon. No one else was in there, and Steve had mentioned how much he missed his son. He wasn’t aware that Bucky had been spending so much time with Peter, and Bucky hadn’t been planning on telling him, but he was getting sick of listening to his best friend. Steve had chosen Bucky over his family, over his  _ son _ . 

Flipping them over, Bucky pinned him to the mat, a little rougher than strictly necessary. Steve looked a little shocked by the turn of events but tapped out almost immediately. They got up from the mat, and he watched Bucky with careful eyes. “You ok there?”

Bucky took a sip of his water. “I’m angry with you.”

Steve’s eyebrows drew together, thinking back over things. “Ok…? What did I do?”

“You didn’t mention you had a kid, Steve.”

He turned away to grab his own water bottle. “Well, it wasn’t exactly the time to catch up…”

Crossing his arms over his chest, he met the blonde’s eyes. “I met Peter down here a few weeks ago. He asked me if you told me about him, and I told him the truth. You know what he told me? He told me he should be happy that at least you love someone.”

“He… he thinks I don’t love him?”

“You took his one worst fear and made it come true, what the fuck do you think?”

“But… he…”

“Yeah, he should understand…” Bucky waved off his bullshit excuse. “Tony told me that’s what you said. We talk a lot since he worries about Peter.”

“You’ve been spending time with Peter  _ and _ Tony?”

“Not together. Tony likes to make sure all my therapy and shit is working.”

“What about Peter?”

“For some insane reason, he actually seems to like me,” Bucky took a sip of his water. “He’s completely devastated by that you did.”

Steve’s shoulders fell, and he scrubbed a hand over his face. “I know.”

“Then why did you do it?” 

When Steve saw his friend’s face, any excuse he could have come up with died on his lips. “Because I’m a really shitty father. I really did think it was the right thing to do, but I should have never left without telling my son.”

“You’re fucking right you shouldn’t have. Peter is a good kid, and he loves you more than anything,” Bucky paused, unsure he should continue. “Tony said that he’s having nightmares, and he doesn’t know how to help.”

Steve pressed his eyes closed for a minute. When he opened them, he cleared his throat. “Tell him to try making Peter some hot chocolate, telling him a story or humming, and holding his hand. It usually works.”

“I’ll pass the information along.”

“Good… Just, please take care of him.” He waited for Bucky’s nod before sighing heavily and turning to gather his things. “Let’s get out of here.”

Tony found Steve on his floor the next day. When Steve looked up, the other man looked exhausted, dark circles smudging beneath his eyes. “Tony,” surprise crept into his voice.

“Hey, Cap, mind if I sit?” Not waiting for an answer, Tony sat on the couch. “We need to talk.”

Resisting the urge to wince, Steve set his book down, feeling a spike of concern. “Is Peter ok?”

“Well, depends on your definition of ‘ok’.”

“Let’s say we’re using a standard definition.”

“Oh, then no, absolutely not.”

Steve felt queasy. “What’s going on?”

Tony blew out a breath. “His nightmares are so bad, he refuses to go to bed,” he held up a hand before Steve could interrupt. “I had already tried doing what you do before Bucky even told me what you’d said, and sometimes he won’t even let me close enough. You continue to be the only person in the world who can calm him down after those things. He’s been sneaking out to the studio. He misses you a lot,” his voice was uncharacteristically serious.

“What do you want me to do? He still doesn’t want to see me.”

“As much as I want to continue to let him make that decision, you are the only one who can fix this. Peter is putting himself in danger, and you need to talk to him about it. He’s not listening to any of the rest of us. Not even Bruce.”

Steve looked up in surprise. Ever since Peter had met Dr. Banner, he’d had a soft spot for the scientist. “He won’t listen to Bruce?”

“No, he was explicitly told he couldn’t go back to his patrolling until he was getting enough sleep, and much to our shock, he didn’t listen.”

“He’s not sleeping, and then he’s going out swinging around New York?” Steve had watched every video of Spiderman’s dramatic rescues, and he felt his heart beating in his throat.

“Bingo, he’s at the studio now, and you need to go talk to him.”

“You’re sure it won’t make things worse?”

Tony’s eyes narrowed. “Well, it can’t get much worse then not sleeping, barely eating, and nearly getting himself killed, can it?”

Steve jumped up from his chair, searching for his jacket. “I’ll go find him now.”

“Good… Do me a favor, Cap, don’t fuck him up any worse,” Tony didn’t move from his spot. 

They exchanged a look of understanding before Steve was yanking on his jacket and jumping on the elevator that had already arrived. Instead of taking his bike, he hailed a cab, barely resisting the urge to jump out and just run for it. As soon as they reached the building, Steve all but threw some money at the driver before jumping out, not bothering to wait for change.

Standing outside the apartment door, Steve took a deep breath and steeled himself before unlocking it. He was half expecting to be attacked when he stepped in, but listening closely, he heard the soft sounds of someone breathing. Being as quiet as he could, he closed and locked the door behind him.

Making his way through the apartment, he didn’t come across anyone until he opened the door to his old bedroom. Peter was curled up on the couch, one of the couch throws pulled up to his chin. He was asleep, breathing deep and even, and Steve took a moment to study him.

He had deep dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks were thinner, and he was wearing his spider suit. Even in sleep he looked tense, and it took a lot of self restraint not to reach out for him. Instead, he left the door open and headed to the kitchen to see if there was anything he could make for when Peter woke up.

The only things he found were a frozen pizza and cookie dough. Not sure how long Peter would actually be asleep, he put the cookies in to bake first. When they were done he left them on the pan to cool and put the pizza in. The pizza wasn’t even half done when Peter stumbled in, hair mussed.

Blinking several times, Peter stared at him in surprise. “Dad?”

Steve’s smile was a little strained. “Hey, bud, I thought you’d be hungry when you woke up.”

As if to confirm it, Peter’s stomach growled, and the teen stared down at it, looking betrayed. “Take a cookie, the pizza will be done soon.”

Peter did as he was told, standing clutching his mask in one hand and holding the cookie in the other. “What are you even doing here?”

Deciding it would be best to jump right in, Steve leaned back against the counter. “You’ve been putting yourself in danger.”

“I have not,” Peter scowled at him.

“Tony told me Bruce said you weren’t ok to go out patrolling,” he raised an eyebrow gesturing to his suit. “Yet here we are.”

“Bruce doesn’t get to tell me what to do.”

“Maybe, but everyone is concerned,” he sighed. “I know you don’t want to talk to me, or see me, but… I’m worried.”

Tensing immediately, Peter shook his head. “No, you don’t get to be worried. You weren’t worried when you just left me!”

Steve blew out a breath. “I know I shouldn’t have done what I did, and I am so sorry, kiddo.”

Relaxing marginally at the genuine regret in his father’s voice, he fiddled with the mask in his hand. “Why didn’t you at least come say goodbye?” His voice trembled.

“I thought leaving was the right thing to do, but I knew if I said goodbye to you, I wouldn’t be able to go. I couldn’t even write a letter because it would’ve made me change my mind. I  _ never _ wanted to leave you.”

“But you still left!”

He nodded as the timer went off. Taking a minute to take the pizza out, he set in on top of the oven and turned back to his son. “I thought it was what I had to do. But you were right on the airfield, we could have worked together and figured things out. I was stupid to rush into things the same way I did before I was ever your dad.”

Peter looked down at his hands. “You broke your promise… I thought I’d never see you again,” his voice was soft.

“I was selfish, and I did things all wrong, and I am so, so sorry,” if Steve had to spend the rest of his life apologizing he would. Peter didn’t say anything right away, so he nodded to the table. “Let’s sit down so you can eat. I know with a fast metabolism, it’s really not good to skimp on food.”

He was almost surprised when Peter didn’t argue, just sitting at the table. When Steve set the pizza in front of him, he immediately began eating, looking like he was almost in a daze. They had nearly finished the pizza when the teen finally spoke.

“Will you leave me again?”

Steve nearly choked on his pizza, taking a sip of his water and thinking about the question. “I will do my very best to make sure I don’t.”

“Promise if you ever do, you’ll say goodbye.”

“Peter…”

“You have to promise,” his voice was firm.

Steve sighed, mulling it over a moment. “I promise.”

Peter’s gaze was intense as he studied his father. After over a minute, he took another bite of his pizza. “Good,” he covered a yawn with the back of his hand, glancing over at the stove’s clock. “I need to go on patrol now.”

“No, you need to sleep,” he held his hand up when the teen began to protest, “Peter, you won’t be much help to New York if you’re hurt or dead. Please,” he looked at his son pleadingly.

After hesitating a long minute, Peter nodded reluctantly and stood. “Fine.”

“Let me just clean up, and we’ll go back to the tower.”

“I’m just going to sleep on the couch.”

Steve was a little surprised, but he nodded. “Sure, I’ll be in my studio if you need me.”

“You don’t have to stay.”

He smiled. “I know. Go get some sleep, Pete.”

He was shocked when Peter came and gave him a hug before leaving the kitchen wordlessly. Staring after his son, Steve felt warmth swell in his chest. For the first time in months he almost felt like things might be ok.


End file.
